Goat Simulator: It’s Very Dangerous!

Frankly speaking – I even don’t know what to think. It does seem like a great idea but still – a very controversial one. In this life I’ve been almost everything, even a stone. Yes, there is a stone simulator with pretty nice graphics and interesting ideas. But this… Man! I’ve never wanted to be a goat. It kind of seems to be exciting and offensive at the same time. Though, this was what I though before actually starting the game. And you know what – Goat Simulator is just what you need when sitting at home with your friends and drinking beer.

Goat Simulator 6

I am pretty sure that the name of the game is pretty explanatory. Yes, you are supposed to play as a goat. Luckily, not a regular one cause otherwise Goat Simulator would have been very and very boring. Eating grass and pooping on the ground does not seem like a catchy gameplay with a deep storyline. Though, you won’t have to do that (unless you really want to). Instead, you will be offered to play as a goat who can think and do crazy things. How crazy exactly? Why don’t we find out with the Goat Simulator together?

What is Goat Simulator?

Technically, Goat Simulator is a shameless timekiller. It is totally based on the absence of any logic and is aimed to let you have fun with your friends or strangers, if you prefer this kind of company.  For some reason, Goat Simulator was rewarded with the 3rd place in “The Most Ridiculous Simulator” category, which is, actually, very great. Moreover, during the past week or so this game was downloaded the greatest number of times from Steam. Again – this is another proof that Goat Simulator at least means something and is worth being launched on your PC.

Goat Simulator 3

By all means – Goat Simulator is not for everyone. For people who like to go somewhere and do something in particular, something that they are told to do in the mission log, well – forget about this post and the game itself because, as I’ve mentioned before, Goat Simulator lacks any logic! But – that is its thing. And, if your heart is not that stony and there is at least a little chance you are going to like a mindless goat running, then please – be my guest and spend a few bucks to make the miracle happen.

Ok, ok – I get it! It’s time to start talking and not advertising. And no – I am not being paid for the game promotion! It’s just that Goat Simulator made my day so bright and shiny that I was even shocked to see that coming from a virtual animal. Mark my words – you will be surprised yourself too.

Goat Simulator 2

So, the Goat Simulator. Potentially, it is going to become a major sandbox with the amazing possibilities because right now Goat Simulator has only one level. Well, it is big enough to fill it with ridiculous stuff but it is possible to investigate it in less than an hour and by investigate I mean to touch and try pretty much everything. Ok, maybe more than an hour but still – not as much as one could imagine. Also, the lonely level is the only downfall of this game. But, as I’ve said before, it’s a sandbox, which means – players are allowed to create new levels, modify the existing one and do whatever they think is relevant (as long as it does not violate Steam’s policy). So, in the closest future you should expect a major growth in the world of crazy Goat Simulator.

The Goat Simulator You Play In

Technically, the game is not about the locations but about the things you can do with and in them. The small city of future goat madness consists of a couple of houses, patrol station, corn filed, local Stonehenge in the woods, a place for demonical rituals, a secret laboratory (I guess, it’s not that secret after all), a portal to the other world and that’s pretty much it. Oh, there’s also a construction area which also has a great number of surprises that, of course, you will reveal all by yourself.

When the game starts, you can either show your good manners and start walking around, like a goat gentleman and eat grass while sipping tea. Or, you can start doing things that are not common for a goat and have fun. You know what – they should have named the game “NOT a Goat Simulator” because everything you will or already have done in the game is far from what goats usually do. If it seems to you that people around do not behave the way they should – you can ask them to leave by grabbing an axe. With your tongue. Actually, your tongue will be one of the most deadliest and useful things during the game. Even when not in use – it will still be able to draw a smile on your face.

Goat Simulator 4

Of course, if you are not interested in people, it is possible to commit a suicide by jumping in front of the moving car. If not – why don’t you visit the patrol station and ram it with your horns? No? Ok, how about climbing up the ladder on a big crane and jumping down from that height? Ye, that’s better! Though, if you are interested in something a lot more extraordinary, visit Demon’s castle or go to the open space. If you are into collecting things – you can start doing that with the statues that represent computer heroes from the other games of Coffee Stain Studios. Also, for additional challenge you should check out the list of Steam achievements. They are also ridiculously strange but funny.

Goat Simulator 5

Goat Simulator and Lasts Thoughts

I am not sure if there’s something else I can or even should say about the game. You see – it’s a lot better to see it ones yourself than to listen me talking about how good and crazy Goat Simulator is. Also, I am really looking forward for the new levels that are going to come from the most dedicated fans. I would have created a couple of my own if I was good in developing and making games. Unfortunately, I am only good in playing them.

Goat Simulator will cost 7$ on Steam. I would not call it the best investment in my life cause my best investment was in the latest Bioshock Infinite Season Pas. But, if want something crazy, stupid, ridiculous and illogical – Goat Simulator is exactly what you need and what you will never regret. If you still have any doubts – here’s a trailer and the gameplay video. Enjoy!


Goat Simulator Trailer

Goat Simulator Gameplay

Author: Oleg Repetskiy

Share This Post On


  1. Fresh Android: Episode 1 | Fresh Gamer - […] if you are not an Android player and want to have fun playing on PC, check out our review…

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *